Good Sit

So one post a day, that's gotta be a rule. Two posts in one day... now that's just desperate. In fact, maybe you shouldn't even post every day. Yea, wait a week, keep them drooling, waiting for more. Train them to wait. You've got them wrapped around your god damned little finger, don't you. You little writer you. Who are you kidding? No one is reading this stuff, and no one is going to. Well, maybe your wife will read it, and she'll read it because she is awesome, and because she is awesome, she will tell you that it's good stuff. But what about the rest of them? You know, the people that don't know that you're amazing in the sack, and will say just about anything to appease your greatness? You know. Them.

Ha. As if there is a Them. But really, that one post a day thing has got to be a rule, and you need to stick to it. All you're doing is rubbing your fingers over the keyboard because it feels good to type again. You like the way it feels when you let go of your hands, and disconnect the brain, and see what comes up on the page. Just be sure you have a pretty good spell checker. Yes. check your spells before you cast them. But after you do, you can't look back. That, too, is a rule. Don't look back. At least not too hard. Keep the focus loose and easy... step away when you need to.



Where did you go, little bloggy? Oh, here you are. Sometimes you get lost, out of pocket, as it were, if I let you get too far away from me. Christ. What am I doing? You can't just put all of this out there for anyone to read, can you? No. Don't do it. Don't say anything too crazy. Don't tell them about your co-workers that drive you nuts, the end users that don't know what they are thinking when they proclaim widespread outages. No... don't tell them about that. Too boring, too mundane, too routine. We all know about that. Your job isn't worse than mine.

But you have to tell them something, don't you? You have to write about something of merit, something worthwhile of their time. You have to put something together that is interesting, funny or sad, so much so that they are compelled to read it until they are blue in the face. Or something like that. Blue somewhere, anyway.

Remember? You were going to tell them about your dog, and how she can sit now. Not really that she can sit now, she could always sit, but now she actually sits when you tell her to. You say "sit", and she does so, anxiously looking in your eyes for a small piece of chicken or steak, or bacon. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes no. But now it seems more often than not, she will actually get into that sitting position for you, just by saying the word, or making the hand gesture, or by pulling the small bit of meat out of the treat bag. Some day, though, she will just do it because you say it, and only because you say it. You say it, she does it. That'll be the day, now, won't it? Of course, in her little doggy brain, you know she'll always be harboring a little bit of resentment, wondering where that follow up prize is, and why you are being so greedy in not doling it out. Yes, you, pack leader, where's my treat?